We need help!

I was feeling pretty pleased after the St Jory ride and so with a song in my heart we went back into the sand school to work but it was hopeless because I could only use the bottom half of it and we still couldn't lunge.  Because of her extreme reaction to traffic I was not keen on hacking her out for the time being so I was left with a horse I basically couldn't do anything with.  I needed some serious help.

I knew that there was one person who could help me to get inside the mind of Tequila and help me to understand her.  I was determined that I wouldn't go down any route which I had followed before ie with Jed when I asked for help from so called professionals whose answer had been at the end of a whip.  Equally I didn't want to 'love and pat her' into submission either.  I knew that I wanted a relationship with my horse that was based on mutual trust and respect.
Enter stage left.........  Susan Rainbird.

Susan came to watch us.  Firstly we worked in the school in hand.  Susan watched without commenting and could see the high energy coming from both Tequila and I.  She because of the pigs and me and me because I couldn't control her and she was running over the top of me and pushing me around.  I just wanted to throw the lunge rein in and sit in the corner sucking my thumb and crying.  I felt such a fool.

Susan was very kind and gentle and apart from taking the reins to show me briefly how to position myself with Tequila she talked me through all the moves.  She talked to me about my energy, about my body language, about my eyes, about my hands and feet.  I thought she was there to train my horse but no, she was there to train me.  My horse I realise now was training me already to be a push over, she was in charge, she dictated the direction and pace, I without realising it was allowing her to be the boss.

At the end of the first session I was able to get Tequila to step back from me when asked and I could now lead her without being dragged around like a water skier but I still could not get her to go to the top half of the sand school or to lunge.  Susan pointed out to me that Tequila was very unconfident.  What I had seen as her being a bossy boots and taking over and taking decisions was as a result of her not trusting me to look after her and if I wasn't in charge then Tequila reluctantly had to look after herself.  Her refusing to move away from me to lunge was not naughtiness but she was scared to move away and put herself out there on her own.  Initially I was skeptical.  How can being such an opinionated pushy cow be as a result of fear?  I didn't understand.