The lumberjacks and the walkers!

Lesson 3 was a bit of a disaster after the local farmer decided to start chopping trees down in the wood next to my sand school.  We went out into the school and Tequila was immediately on high alert because she could hear the men and tractors and chainsaws.  She was walking around like a giraffe initially and so I decided to lunge her first.  I had been working on our lunging for about a week thank goodness and after the stable door incident I decided that I was being too gentle with her and she was actually taking the piss out of me.

I didn't use the lunge whip to keep her out but as she tried to charge towards me I swept the loops of lunge rein across in front of me and once again the shock on her face had to be seen to be believed.  She calmly turned back to the track and continued on a 20m circle.  Now don't misunderstand me I think that our initial problems were her fear and lack of confidence but now our relationship was developing she was more confident and she knew what she was supposed to do.  Occasionally now she will turn in but most of the time she behaves as she should and lunges very nicely.

So after about 10 minutes of lunging and her seeming to relax I got on.  Although she kept looking towards the woods she was working nicely and was reasonably responsive.  About 30 minutes into our lesson she suddenly became hyper sensitive and on high, high alert and stood looking into the fields and snorting.  As I have said before I am not the worlds bravest rider and my heart was racing.  We all looked to see what she was looking at and then saw two walkers wearing bright red coats with dogs coming across the fields.  I let her stand and look but she was getting more and more excited and Susan told me that the best thing was to keep her moving.  I was scared I don't mind telling you, I felt that at any minutes she was going to bolt as she was on high alert, fight or flight.  I started walking her in small circles making quick successive changes of direction.  I allowed her to look at the walkers but she had to keep moving.

Susan explained to me that by letting her stand and look at the thing that is frightening her I am allowing her to think about making the decision to run away.  If she is still she can concentrate all her attention onto the scary thing and think about it and get more frightened and then she can RUN AWAY!!!!!  By keeping her moving she has to think about me and what I am asking her to do.  She can see the scary thing but she can't think so clearly about running because she is already moving.  I could feel her starting to relax and her head get lower, she stopped holding her breath and breathed normally and eventually she started to walk normally and work properly and swing her back as the tension left her.  I was happy as we had actually worked through one of my demons with her that is her sometimes over developed spookiness.

Laura actually videoed this incident and you can see how it develops.

Lesson 2 and we trot!!

Lesson 2 with Susan and we actually managed a trot.  We started with a walking warm up going back over lesson 1.  Working on my position and also on flexing her from one side to the other and softening her.  We worked on halting with my seat which she obviously understood already and was superb at.  We then softened just before we stepped off and I learned to give my hands forwards and up to encourage her to lift herself and power herself from behind. 

Something I am mortified to admit here where it will be read but have to admit if I want this to be a true record of our progress is that I actually have been riding with my hands set still in walk and I do not move them with the movement of the horses head as it takes it's natural rhythm.  I knew about the fact that horses move their heads in walk but I never did it.

We worked on teaching Tequila to lift her abdomen as I asked her forwards by using my lower leg and seat.  By doing this I am developing thighs of steel but Tequila is changing her shape.  She is starting to tone and lift her belly muscles and it is making her look more sleek and streamlined.

Susan then explained how she wanted me to ride 'patterns'  ie a 20m circle on the right rein then down the centre line to the short side where I track left and do another 20m circle on the left rein then down the centre line to the track and track right and so on.  By doing this I can work on corners, my position, her head and neck, her hind end and by repeating it I can work on it incrementally.  As Tequila learns the patterns she learns the aids that I will use in each part of the school which will then transfer at a later time.

This lesson was really good and because we were working hard and I was thinking about patterns and hands and feet and diagonals etc I was too busy to think about the pigs and suddenly we found ourselves in the top end of the school without any problems...  How did that happen?

The battle for the door

I was rapidly learning the difference between geldings and mares.  Bentley is the most polite horse I have ever met and would die rather than stand on you, push you or be rude on the ground.  If ever he forgets himself and does something out of character I only have to say sternly 'Bentley!' and he immediately looks chastised and behaves himself.  Tommy is much the same.  Tequila on the other hand didn't understand my rules and she definitely didn't understand my body language.  The door was becoming more of an issue in that she wouldn't step back to let me in or out of the stable.

One evening whilst I was going in to skip out she actually swiped across my head with hers twice in about 30 seconds bashing me with her jaw on both occasions.  Neither Tommy or Bentley would ever do that and it caught me by surprise.  It was not the first time but never before had she done it in quite such a deliberate manner.  I really believed that she was showing me that she was in charge of the stable and that I had to move my head for her.  I was really feeling inadequate and stupid.  I could step her back on a head collar or bridle but in her stable it was like I was invisible.

I came back into the house and rang Susan as I was losing the will to live with this horse.  Susan gave me a massive talking to.  You have to bear in mind here the position I was coming from.  I had made mistakes with Jed which had resulted in him being too much for me, in the end he had to be handled  by others when he got out of hand.  I had hated him and been afraid of him.  I had beaten myself to death about my part in the way he behaved and had vowed that I would do things differently in the future.  I wanted to be an equal and respected but I was being soft and fluffy with Tequila.  There was no equality because she had taken charge.  There was no respect, in fact I would say that she actually was treating me as though I wasn't even there.  She weighs over 500 kilos and I was trying to be gentle and soft with her and she was being brutal and rude with me.  Susan told me that I must own the stable door, I must take it as mine.  The answer wasn't to hit her or try and bully her but to give her a shock at my power over the door.  She told me to take a crop into the stable with me not to hit Tequila with but to hit the door to make a loud bang which would make her step back.  I was confused, I thought I had to be gentle with her, getting her love and trust but Susan pointed out to me that in a herd the lead mare would be quite overt in her control of the others.  She would boot, bite, charge, pull faces at others that she wanted to move and although I was not able to do that with Tequila I must make her realise that I was in charge and to ignore me would result in a shock.

Frankly skeptical the next time I went back into the stable I took a crop with me.  As I came back to the door to come out again Tequila did her usual trick of trying to shoulder me and swipe across my head with hers.  I was ready and hit the door hard with the flap of the crop.  She shot backwards as it sounded like a gunshot.  I only ever had to do this once more the next time I was in the stable and she has never again tried to push me out of the way or swiped across my head.  Simple, short and sharp but effective.  No pain involved at all and we both know where we stand.  Now as I approach the door to go in or come out she steps back and waits for me to vacate the area before she approaches.  Result!!!

Back to basics

During the next couple of weeks Tequila continued to challenge me both in the sand school and in the stable.  In the school she still refused to lunge or go away from my side, or to venture to the top of the school.  In the stable a power struggle started over the door.  She decided that she owned the door to her stable and that I was not worthy of using it.  She absolutely refused to step back from it and in fact shoulder barged it if I tried to make her step back.

I had ridden her in the school and out on hacks but her behaviour was leaving a bit to be desired in that she was absolutely freaking out if we met any traffic.  It got to the point where if we had to ride on a road (and we live in the middle of no-where with very little traffic) then I would get off and lead her.  Then on one occasion a large white van was coming towards us and she went on high alert.  Mike placed Tommy in front of her but she couldn't cope and all and spun round and after knocking me to the ground she tried to gallop off dragging me behind her.  I was shaken and so was she.  I managed to hold onto her but it really put the wind up both of us.  Mike was furious, I had been hurt before by horses and he was very afraid that I was going to be hurt again.  I was crying and he was adamant, she was not the horse for me, I was in danger and she had to go.

What a mess!!  I was scared now, I didn't want her to go but I am not a brave rider and I am not capable of dealing with a spooky traffic shy horse.  If I was going to be scared of her how could I progress.  When I was looking for a horse to buy one of the major requirements was that it hacked out alone and in company and it was good in traffic.

For a week or so Tequila got turned out into the field whilst I considered  my options.  Susan came over and we had a second on the ground session where she again watched us together and also talked me through dealing with her.  We still couldn't get her to go more than about 2' away from my side.  I told Susan that Mike was pushing me to sell her on and to get something more reliable but I had told him that if she went I was giving up riding.  At this time Bentley was in one of his sound periods and I was able to hack him out on the roads in total security and comfort which brought home to me just how scary she was.

I decided to have some basic ridden lessons with Susan to try and improve my relationship with Tequila but to be honest I was struggling to get the courage to actually get on her.  Susan came over and as I was tacking her up outside the barn the postman arrived at our gate in his van.  As he pulled up at the postbox Tequila just totally lost it and pulled back breaking the string on her rope.  I was in the process of putting her bridle on and as she tried to bolt away I was only just able to hold her and get her back under control.  Susan was shocked by how she reacted to a car on the other side of the gate and how extreme her reaction was.  I was glad she had seen it because I am sure that people thought I was exaggerating.  Once tacked up we went into the school for our first ridden lesson.

For an hour Susan took us right back to basics.  My seat, hands, feet, head, bottom, knees, calves, chest and back all got attention as she gently molded us into some semblance of a rider.  I thought I knew how to walk a horse but I was soon to learn I didn't.  We never went out of halt and walk and by the end of it every muscle in my body hurt.  We still couldn't get out of the bottom end of the school because of the pigs but at least I was riding.  Another problem was coming to light now though and that was that Tequila was a habitual headshaker.  Every time I let the contact drop she would fling her head up.  Susan talked me through flexing her from left to right just to try and break the cycle.  If I could distract her she was better but it was very annoying and her idea of taking the contact down and forward was to fling her head up and and then out and down so snatching the reins out of my hands.

We had such a lot of work to do.

We need help!

I was feeling pretty pleased after the St Jory ride and so with a song in my heart we went back into the sand school to work but it was hopeless because I could only use the bottom half of it and we still couldn't lunge.  Because of her extreme reaction to traffic I was not keen on hacking her out for the time being so I was left with a horse I basically couldn't do anything with.  I needed some serious help.

I knew that there was one person who could help me to get inside the mind of Tequila and help me to understand her.  I was determined that I wouldn't go down any route which I had followed before ie with Jed when I asked for help from so called professionals whose answer had been at the end of a whip.  Equally I didn't want to 'love and pat her' into submission either.  I knew that I wanted a relationship with my horse that was based on mutual trust and respect.
Enter stage left.........  Susan Rainbird.

Susan came to watch us.  Firstly we worked in the school in hand.  Susan watched without commenting and could see the high energy coming from both Tequila and I.  She because of the pigs and me and me because I couldn't control her and she was running over the top of me and pushing me around.  I just wanted to throw the lunge rein in and sit in the corner sucking my thumb and crying.  I felt such a fool.

Susan was very kind and gentle and apart from taking the reins to show me briefly how to position myself with Tequila she talked me through all the moves.  She talked to me about my energy, about my body language, about my eyes, about my hands and feet.  I thought she was there to train my horse but no, she was there to train me.  My horse I realise now was training me already to be a push over, she was in charge, she dictated the direction and pace, I without realising it was allowing her to be the boss.

At the end of the first session I was able to get Tequila to step back from me when asked and I could now lead her without being dragged around like a water skier but I still could not get her to go to the top half of the sand school or to lunge.  Susan pointed out to me that Tequila was very unconfident.  What I had seen as her being a bossy boots and taking over and taking decisions was as a result of her not trusting me to look after her and if I wasn't in charge then Tequila reluctantly had to look after herself.  Her refusing to move away from me to lunge was not naughtiness but she was scared to move away and put herself out there on her own.  Initially I was skeptical.  How can being such an opinionated pushy cow be as a result of fear?  I didn't understand.

Disaster strikes

It became apparent within 2 days that Tequila was absolutely terrified of our pigs.  Whenever we went into the sand school she would turn into a tense giraffe who wanted to just bolt away from them.  Even being led I couldn't persuade her to venture into the top half of the school and then she decided that she would not lunge.  Every time I put her on the lunge she would refuse to move away from me and if she did get out onto the track she would just rush towards me and even the lunge whip would not keep her out.  I was bereft, what on earth was I going to do?  I couldn't ride her in the school and now I couldn't lunge her either.

Things really started to deteriorate and in the stable she got more bargy and pushy and if I was in the stable she would absolutely refuse to step back from the door to allow me to go out.  If I tried to move her over or back she would quite literally swipe me across the head with her head and a couple of times I ended up seeing stars.

The only good thing was that I went out on a couple of hacks with Mike and Tommy and even when Tommy was exceptionally naughty and bolted I was able to keep control of her and at no time did I feel out of control.  She gave me a couple of frights with cars on the road and that is something we are still working on as she seems to be very frightened of them but most of the time out hacking she is well behaved.

A week after she arrived we went on a 20k organised ride at St Jory de Chalais and she behaved impeccably for the whole ride.  Afterwards we were allowed to go on the Cross country course and she jumped everything I asked her to.  Although only small fences she was obviously really enjoying herself and so was I.  I had a glimmer of hope that she might actually be the horse that I had been looking for.

From the beginning

After 2 years of trying various treatments and vets I finally had to admit defeat with Bentley and decide to move on.  I just could not keep him sound enough to do any amount of work and jumping him was a total no-no.  The final straw came when he ruptured the DDFT and I was never sure he would come back to full work again.

I started looking at horses to buy, a pass time I hate and detest.  After a couple of false starts and failed vettings by a stroke of absolute fate Tequila came available.  She had been offered to me earlier in the year but at that time I wasn't looking.  Then when I was she had gone out on loan.  Luckily for me and for Aimee her loaner she got pregnant and so Sarah her owner decided to sell her and offered me first refusal.  Rather stupidly considering all the trials and tribulations I have previously been through with buying horses I bought her without even seeing her.  I watched a couple of videos of her trotting in a circle and one of her playing with a rubber ball and decided to go for it.

She arrived here with me in France on 9th Nov 2012.  I had quite a shock when she came off the lorry as she was a lot smaller than I had been expecting.  The problem is that after Bentley anything looks like a Shetland.  My first impressions were that she was ignorant and bargy, she dragged me around on the end of the headcollar rope, she was too small and she was too long in the back.  Apart from that she was fine!!!

I gave her a day to settle in before I did anything with her and then bit the bullet and tacked her up.  We went up in the sand school and after an initial lunge I got on.  I was surprised at just how green and wobbly she was.  She couldn't walk in a straight line and after my wonderfully schooled Bentley who knows what I want just by my thinking it I suddenly was riding a horse who had no idea what I wanted.  What had I done?